A few years back my father passed away from heart disease and ultimately heart failure. Before he died I got to spend a couple final days with him. We got to laugh as he told some great stories from his life, learn from him as he expressed some great wisdom and answer a few of his questions. Some of our favorite stories were when he and his sister were younger and first moved to Detroit. One in particular was how he would try to embarrass her by picking her up from work with his old pickup truck, radio blasting and he trying, very unsuccessfully, to keep beat with the music. They were very close and had both learned from their parents to have faith, work hard, be honest and always put others first.
One of his questions that sticks in my mind was the one he asked about himself. Was his life a success, did he make an impact in life, did his life have any value? I was a bit taken back by this question as he was a great dad, had raised two successful boys and mentored 5 awesome grandkids. He had worked hard, bought a trailer park and provided for my mom and our family. However, through the years he never felt successful, no one, including me, had told him that his hard work paid off. You see, he had worked for 30 years a steal mill that went into bankruptcy a few years after he retired and he lost every bit of retirement. With that loss, he felt like he was a failure. He had based his worth on a career and that was gone. But like I said before, he had saved and purchased a trailer park to support his family. He provided a very good life for he and my mom, however, I do not think he every enjoyed it.
To answer his question I told him that I though he had done a great job with his life, that he had a huge impact on a large number of people. With that he went on and told us another awesome story.
A week or so later at his funeral I had the opportunity to hear from so many people how he had impacted their lives.
· A local young politician said that aside from his own dad, my dad had the biggest impact in his life. When I asked how he said, he always treated me with respect and talked to me like a man even when I was younger. He made me feel important and gave me incredible confidence.
· Two or three people who had lived in his trailer park said they would have never owned their own place without my dad. My dad had lent them money to buy their first place when no one else would help. He had believed in them even when they did not believe in themselves.
· The most impactful to me was the eulogy my kids gave at his service. They all spoke about how he always had time for them, always believed in them, always helped them, in short always loved them.
It was awesome to hear all the stories of the impact of his life, I just wish he had known.
As I reflect back on this time I come away with a two things.
1. Never underestimate the impact you are having on people when you put them first and show them you believe in them. Simple things, motivated by love, can have huge impacts on people’s lives.
2. If someone is impacting you by helping or loving you, do not wait until their funeral to speak kind words about them, tell them while they are still with us. I think by letting them know will not only impact them but also impact you and help you both have the Best Day Ever.
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